Learning the ropes on the Net

Times Computing :: “Cyber Chat” :: Val Souza :: May 2, 2001

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I never was a Boy Scout. In fact outfits such as this were condemned as infra dig in our household, while we were kids. I don’t reckon my parents had anything against Robert Baden-Powell in principle, but rather, they were deathly scared we would fall into some abandoned well while on a jaunty jamboree in the boondocks and never be heard from again.

As a result I haven’t been able to tie the knot. I’m speaking of course about bowlines and sheepshanks and clove hitches and sheetbends and all those other convoluted rope twists that make life and pyjamas so secure. Well, when everything else comes to naught, be prepared to scout the Web is what my motto is. And not before long, I hit upon the website of the 42nd Brighton Scout Group with it’s animated knot-tying tutorial. With superb, simple animations to help me along, I can now tie knots with the best of them. Check out http://www.42brghtn.mistral.co.uk/knots/42ktmenu.html for some knotty delights.

My Reference Desk

Times Computing :: “Cyber Chat” :: Val Souza :: February 21, 2001

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If you’ve ever dabbled in writing of any sort —personal or professional—you’ve probably experienced the frustration of having a word or phrase on the tip of your tongue, yet not quite all there. The right idea’s in your head alright, but, for the life of you, you can’t translate it into the right words. That’s why Peter Mark Roget and his Thesaurus have been so successful, triumphant, victorious, profitable and renowned. Of course, just when you need him most, with inspiration waiting in the wings, Roget is nowhere to be found — possibly left behind at home/office when you’re at office/home.

Software pirate? Who, me?

Times Computing :: “Cyber Chat” :: Val Souza :: October 11, 2000

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It’s a yarn that would command top honours in the ‘Life’s Like That’ anecdotes of Reader’s Digest. And it could happen only in India: One fair week last month, cyber cafes and computer institutes in several cities of the state of Gujarat were visited by a band of officious looking gentlemen purporting to be from the software association NASSCOM. Their ostensible mandate? To carry out raids to check the legitimacy of the software packages being used in the cafes and institutes. As NASSCOM had been running an awareness campaign against software piracy, using billboards and print media ad campaigns, the proprietors assumed these raids were a logical next-step. Not surprisingly, most of them were using illegally copied software, so they sheepishly agreed to pay the fines levied by the raiders.

Cookie feast!

Times Computing :: “Cyber Chat” :: Val Souza :: August 30, 2000

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 In a Cyber Chat column not too long ago, I’d alluded to the fact that many websites store information about your online activity in “cookies” on your computer. I was quite surprised by the number of people who responded to this statement, some saying they were unaware of the concept, some indignant that they were being tracked by companies without their knowledge.

Of late privacy has become a very touchy subject among users and the issue of tracking computer users, when on the Internet or otherwise, has created a furore on more than one occasion.

Covering your tracks

Times Computing :: “Cyber Chat” :: Val Souza :: August 16, 2000

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I was sitting with a colleague at work recently, checking out a project report that he had been sweating over on his computer. We needed to corroborate some info on the Net, so he launched his Internet Explorer 5 browser, went to his favourite search engine and began typing his search query. That’s when the AutoComplete feature of IE 5 kicked in. Right before his very embarrassed eyes, the browser was helpfully displaying those similarly-spelled search queries he had entered earlier. Suffice it to say that the sites such searches would have thrown up were sites he wouldn’t have wanted to be caught dead in.

The onward march of technology

Times Computing :: “Cyber Chat” :: Val Souza :: August 2, 2000

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Waiting for my order of burgers and fries at a fast-food joint in Mumbai recently, I listened with amusement as two teenagers (or “screenagers” as they’re more aptly called these days) went through the “my PC is better than yours” routine. What amazed me was the nonchalance with which they threw around megabytes of memory and gigabytes of disk storage in their conversation. Just a decade and a half ago, when I cut my computing teeth, a 40MB hard disk was considered a luxury; today few self-respecting multimedia programs would condescend to work well in that much of main memory.

Technological progress never fails to amaze. Yet, often, even the clued-in are sceptical about the extent to which it will push the envelope and permeate our lives.

Death of the middleman?

Times Computing :: “Cyber Chat” :: Val Souza :: July 5, 2000

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Recently, a friend who was interested in migrating to Canada asked me to check up on the Web for immigration information before she contacted a lawyer or agent. I located the official site and found it contained the whole caboodle—including the eligibility criteria, a self-evaluation questionnaire and even the actual forms. The site goes to the extent of stating that applying through an agent cannot help your case or expedite processing. Yet some immigration agents charge over a lakh of rupees, for God knows what. Even if you subtract the processing fees, that’s a sizeable amount indeed.

Discrimination online

Times Computing :: “Cyber Chat” :: Val Souza :: June 14, 2000

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A few weeks ago, I visited a dotcom exhibition at the Nehru Centre in Mumbai. Accentuated by the compressed space in which the exhibition was housed, the crowds seemed even more enormous than they already were. Indeed, I have never seen such long lines of eager faces jostling madly to enter a show since Jon Bon Jovi belted out his chartbusters in Andheri at the peak of his popularity several years ago.

What brought on this sudden frenzy? Curiosity about the Net definitely, but surely all those wide-eyed enthusiasts could have as easily checked out the exhibiting websites just about anywhere. The lure, it would seem, like in any other consumer exhibition, was the freebies and spot offers at the show. “Just register to win” was the blaring refrain from virtually every stall.

Net censorship or self-regulation

Times Computing :: “Cyber Chat” :: Val Souza :: May 17, 2000

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If you have a Web-based e-mail account, and have had it for some time, you’re likely to have noticed the increasing amount of junk mail being shoved your way these days. There are the customary get-rich-quick schemes and the fountain-of-youth elixirs, but an alarming trend is the ever more blatant and daring invitations to ever more explicit porn sites. As an adult you’re probably in a position to make a choice whether you want to explore ‘hot xxx action’ or not, but how does all this affect an unknowing 10-year-old eager to check out the mail he’s received? A couple of innocent clicks and the hapless kid could unwittingly be transported to displays of the most grotesquely kinky kind, age-check warnings notwithstanding. Worse, the devious porn peddlers continue to effortlessly wriggle through the narrowest of spam-filters.

No deliverance yet

Times Computing :: “Cyber Chat” :: Val Souza :: May 3, 2000

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You can take horses to the water. And, contrary to proverbial lore, you can make them drink. But should they choke over that forced drink, they’ll likely be off water for the rest of their lives.

Sadly, it seems the intention of most dotcoms in India is to put us all off water forever. “Have fancy website, will make millions,” seems to be consensus credo of the swanky new Web brigade. No matter that most of them have no back-end infrastructure behind the frilly facade. No matter that they can’t deliver on time (or at all) their lucrative offers and discounts and freebies and jazz. A sure shot formula for disaster is what it is.